Films of the week: "Blood and Sweat: Anabolics", "Scary Movie 5", "Mayhem"

"Very scarymovie 5 "

Scary movie 5

Producer: Malcolm D. Lee

Cast: Ashley Tisdale, Simon Rex, Erica Ash, Charlie Sheen, Lindsay Lohan, Snoop Dogg,
Molly Shannon, Jerry O'Connell


Childless spouses adopt the three nephews left orphaned after the death of their father, the famous actor Charlie Sheen. Those few years lived in the forest, where they were raised by a demonic monster, which they call their mother. Now it is declared in their house to rattle dishes and scare the maids. Other horrors are happening: a long-adult heroine is puffing up from scratch to make a career in ballet, her adopted daughter pops ice cream in her ass, and home appliances arrange a harlem shake at night.

What do we get

Neither the old heroes nor the main star of the movie series Anna Faris, whose charisma at one time extended more than one weak idea of ​​the scriptwriters, did not enter the fifth part of “Scary Movie”. David Zucker, who directed the third and fourth episodes, performed as the screenwriter. As before, "Scary Movie" is a parody of popular horror films and thrillers. This time, the authors liked “Mom” and “Paranormal”, plus a lot of attention is paid to “The Evil Dead”, “Black Swan” and “Planet of the Apes”, and to heaps and simply fashionable phenomena such as “Harlem neck” and “50 shades gray. " Do not forget about the constant feature of the movie series - episodes for guest stars, here - Snoop Dogg, Charlie Sheen and Lindsay Lohan in the roles of themselves.

Initially, "Very Scary Movie" made a name for itself in provocative politically incorrect jokes on the verge of outright bawdy. In the current version, only kindergarteners can shock him. Monkeys throw poop, Snoop Dogg folds a two-meter jamb, once the word “shitty” sounds and a lot - “penis”, Lindsay Lohan shows something very similar to the second chin. In the fourteenth year of life, the movie series looks like a boring jolly granddad, a merry fellow, to whom everyone has long been accustomed to jokes and weak intestines. By the way, the creators have only enough jokes for an hour and fifteen minutes. Then - credits and eight minutes of cut scenes, making it clear that making the film was a little funnier than watching.

"Blood and sweat"

(Pain and Gain)

Producer: Michael Bay

Cast: Mark Wahlberg, Dwayne Johnson,
Ken Jong, Tony Shalub, Ed Harris,
Anthony Mackie, Rob Corddry


Three bodybuilders want to live in luxury worthy of their "perfect bodies." So far, it doesn’t smell like a beautiful life: one of them is a trainer in a rocking chair, the other suffers from male impotence as a result of taking steroids, the third just got out of prison as a devout Christian, having tied up alcohol and drugs there, but he can’t even get a job at McDonald’s " Their plan is to kidnap a familiar visitor to a fitness club, a sandwich tycoon with a nasty character, and, intimidating, quickly get them to transfer all his property to them. True, he turns out to be a tough nut, so the gang has to move on to more active actions.

What do we get

Director Michael Bay is best known for his fantastic blockbusters like Transformers and Armageddon. With "Anabolics", he returns to his second favorite genre - the comedy action movie (in the nineties, he shot "Bad Guys" in two parts). The film was based on a magazine article about a gang of three bodybuilders and a Romanian stripper, who had all the while believed that she was working for the CIA, wielded a gang in Miami in the 90s. Despite the incredible stupidity of the group members and a lot of fantastic mistakes in their actions, for a long time they managed to arrange a beautiful life for themselves, without attracting the attention of the police. The film from this story turned out to be bright, the authors tried to present Miami of the nineties in all its glory, did not regret the blood indicated in the name. From Mark Wahlberg and Dwayne Johnson came out excellent morons, realistic and grotesque at the same time. Watching them in action is a real pleasure. Do you often get a chance to laugh heartily at the pitching without danger to your health?



Producer: Takeshi Kitano

Cast: Takeshi Kitano, Kippei Shiina, Re Kase


The Yakuza clans embark on the path of war. From fights and cut off little fingers comes to beheadings and explosions. At the center of these games of thrones is the tenacious authority of the middle arm, the former boxer Otomo, who does not suspect that all the participants are skillfully manipulated by the head of the yakuza, a cunning old man in a tracksuit, nicknamed the Chairman.

What do we get

The plot is not new and would have looked more relevant ten years ago, when the Russian audience got hooked on “Boomer” and “Brigade”. At the same time, Kitano must be given its due - the material is presented mostly with taste. The action is unhurried, unemotional and somewhat monotonous - one could even get bored at Bespredel if the authors did not constantly increase momentum: for every next 15 minutes of the film there are more corpses than the previous ones. That's it - and the heroes will end completely.

Also started

"In white captivity"

Thriller with Rupert Grint ("Harry Potter") about Norwegian and German pilots during World War II, stuck together in a snowy desert


Malcolm MacDowell as a demonic employer, locking up the top five job seekers in one room in order to give work to the last survivor

"(Un) awaited prince"

Vincent Perez in a romantic film based on a script by Luc Besson about an egoist undergoing a test of love

3D Reef

A cartoon about how stupid fish did not want to attend to protection from sharks - and in vain

"Pervert Movie Guide: Ideology"

The frantic culturologist Slava Zizek reproduces episodes from famous films during his study of ideology in cinema

"The Return of Pinocchio"

A domestic cartoon about how Pinocchio in modern Moscow leads the underground resistance to the tyranny of a toy magnate

"Do not enter, we are not dressed!"

French comedy about two old friends who decided to participate in an amateur porn festival with a film in which they would have sex with each other, despite the heterosexuality of both. Starring Letizia Casta, Asia Argento and Charlotte Gainsbourg

Watch the video: Unlikely lines from kids' films & TV shows. Mock the Week - BBC (November 2019).

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